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Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve, by Ian Kerner
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Avoid the booty call blues and get the love—and sex�—you deserve!
You’re not that into him, but . . . You slept with him anyway • You’re dating him in the meantime • All your friends are getting married • There are no good men left
Stop lowering your standards and start reaching for love!
The world is full of sensational women, but in today’s market there are too few good men to go around (or so it appears). In this smash national bestseller, Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist, explores the battlefield of sex, hookups, go-nowhere relationships, and the dismal dating treadmill—arming women with a sharper set of insights and the tools for change. With humor and sincerity, Kerner shows women how to break the cycle of dating defeat and use the power of sex to find love—with a great guy who is into you.
- Sales Rank: #212650 in Books
- Published on: 2006-04-25
- Released on: 2006-04-25
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .48" w x 5.50" l, .39 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 192 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Hot on the heels of the bestseller He's Just Not That Into You comes this funny, forthright response from author and sex therapist Kerner. The author of the sex guide She Comes First and the "dating doctor" for Lifetime TV, Kerner takes up the cause of "Sex and the City" women everywhere, urging ladies to dump the "in-the-meantime" men and raise their standards on the husband hunt. Kerner's book will appeal to the chick lit audience, with his sassy quizzes and blunt language, as when he writes that women settle on a mediocre boyfriend because "they like having their egos and (and lower parts) stroked." How unfortunate, then, that Kern's logic is often so sloppy. Can it really always be true, as he writes, that being married "is harder than being single, even in the best of circumstances" or that "If women were really disposed to have sex like men, they'd be greater consumers of porn and prostitution"? The book equivocates in trying to promote sexual freedom while encouraging emotional responsibility, and all the laugh lines don't quite hide the fact that the entire book's wisdom is essentially contained in the subtitle. A final chapter, written jointly by Kerner and his wife, does stand out for its personality and wit. Here's hoping they team up for a whole book next time. Meanwhile, this one's sure to do brisk business among singletons.
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“Love Sex and the City? Revisit the world of strategic dating with Be Honest—You’re Not That Into Him Either.” (People)
“Be Honest is about figuring out how to best serve your own needs, . . . and still respect yourself.” (Elle.com)
“Ian Kerner is that rare man who truly loves women and wants to help them.” (From the foreword by Amy Sohn, New York magazine columnist)
“A funny and truly helpful look at what modern women may have forgotten (or just won’t admit) about themselves. (Jane Buckingham, author of The Modern Girl's Guide to Life)
“Witty and informed.” (Us Weekly)
About the Author
Ian Kerner, Ph.D., is a sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of numerous books. He contributes regularly to Today and lives in New York City with his wife and two young sons.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I bought this book for my girlfriend who struggles with ...
By Sheera
I bought this book for my girlfriend who struggles with the wrong men. As her bestie I try to give advise as to what I see wrong with each guy's behavior and why they run. This little book will help her see the pattern early and realize he's really not for her either!
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Wake up and smell your SELF EMPOWERMENT
By M. Lane
This book kicks "He's not that into You" firmly in the crotch. Thank the Good Lord that someone finally did.
The first chapters explain why it's a bad idea for women to have casual sex. DUH!!! For me and my friends, this is as true as the sky is blue. Having sex like a man is a myth. I cannot fathom why people are watching "Sex and the City" and believing it. Ian Kerner, the author, explains in scientific terms why it's not likely for women to have sex that is casual as well as enjoyable. He goes into hormones, the way other mammals act, etc. This book suggests that having "sex like a man" is UN-empowering, despite what your local commando feminist might say.
Note to the audience: For those readers who are squeamish about sex and masturbation, the first couple of chapters are going to be uncomfortable. If you're not having sex, this book is probably not useful for you. Also, if you have problems finding a guy, this book is not for you. However, if you find that you are dating guys that you're not that into, this book is for you. Also, if you're a parent and your daughter is going away to college, I'd recommend this book for your daughter. It might keep her away from the frat houses. Believe me, it happens, and it's better for her to get a good whiff of reality before she is out on her own.
The second and third couple of chapters explain why you should not seriously date someone who you're not that into. I don't think that these chapters are as good as the first, but I identify with dating people who I am not that into. It's a waste of time. You know from the very beginning that you're not going to marry them, and spending time by yourself is so much more enjoyable and empowering.
Overall, I think that this book is a four star book, but I am giving it five simply because it kicks some butt.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
A Must-Read for Single Women...
By NYC Girl
I picked up this book yesterday and couldn't put it down. I just wish it had come out sooner -- like when I started my downward spirial of dating guys that I wasn't that into when I graduated from college.
The book is easy-to-read and funny. Forget "The Rules." This book provides useful, non-preachy advice. For some funny reason, I felt like Dr. Kerner was cheering me on from the sidelines. Definitely worth buying. Don't judge this one by the picture on its cover....
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